


The love you give me

by amysperaltiago



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:40:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29317242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amysperaltiago/pseuds/amysperaltiago
Summary: (This is an x reader fanfic. the cover is just for decorative purposes)September 1991.  You're the new Defence Against The Dark Arts Professor and there's not much you haven't managed to conquer yet in the Wizarding world. With 8 N.E.W.T.S under your belt and another 6 years as an Auror experience, you arrive at Hogwarts ready to conquer the world for the first time since you left in 1979. However, there's one thing you can't quite crack... the dark, quiet and mysterious Potions Professor. You're determined to break through his secret demeanour while also harbouring your own darkest secret.(TIMELINE ISN'T ACCURATE TO THE BOOKS/MOVIES AS THE BATTLE OF HOGWARTS ISN'T HAPPENING AND VOLDEMORT IS NOT AROUND. FORGIVE ANY PLOT HOLES, MISTAKES OR MISSED RESEARCH. THERE WILL BE SWEARING TOO)
Relationships: Severus Snape & Reader, xreader - Relationship





	1. Chapter 1

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

August 29th 1991

The wind blows my hair as I ride my broom across the Scottish highlands towards the castle in the distance ahead. Right now, I feel on top of the world. I smile as I dip close to the river before soaring up to the castle and seeing Hagrid waving me down to a landing space. I land safely on school grounds and drop my trunk and broom and run towards him.

"Hagrid!" I yell, a smile plastered on my face.

"Little y/n Rosewood! Or should I say Professor Rosewood now! Congratulations on gettin' the job" Hagrid says to me

"Thank you! How have you been?" I ask him.

"Same old same old" He tells me "Nothin' much changes round 'ere"

I laugh "Don't I know it!"

"You best go. Dumbledore will be waitin' for ye" Hagrid tells me.

I nod and grab my broom and trunk and head up towards the castle and leave it outside with the rest of the luggage to be taken to my chambers. I fix my black pantsuit which is covered in small details etched into the fabric and walk up the stairs, my heels pounding against the floor as I direct myself to Dumbledore's office and knock on the door.

"Enter" I hear from the other side.

I walk in and look around his office before clocking the man himself as he rises to his feet to greet me.

"Ah Y/n I'm glad you made it here safely!" Dumbledore says, shaking my hand.

"Thank you, Albus. I am extremely excited to get started" I tell him, smiling.

He chuckles "Yes well... You have two days before the students arrive to settle in but you know everything you need to know about your lessons and navigating this place. You just need to meet the teachers"

"Is McGonagall still second-hand ruling this place with an iron fist?" I ask jokingly.

Albus laughs and nods "This place would have been closed by the ministry if it wasn't for Minerva. You may know a few other Professors too... I am sure you would have been with them during your time here at Hogwarts"

Just then, the door behind us clicks open and in walks a 6ft 1 man with dark, long black robes and shoulder-length black hair that frames his face perfectly. He has piercingly black eyes and a hooked nose with a poker straight face. It gave off little emotion or character. He seemed so mysterious.

"Albus have you got an-" The man starts before clocking my presence in the room and looking at me. I felt a slight shift in the mood in the moment he looked at me which felt like hours, but in reality, was seconds.

"Ah, here you go! This is Professor Snape. Severus, this is Professor Rosewood" Albus speaks for us.

"Graduate year 1979?" He asks me, I nod. "Yes... I am familiar. You were in the year below at school" he tells me. There is a pause "Severus Snape. Potions Master and Head of Slytherin house" he introduces himself.

I nod "Pleased to meet you. I'm Y/n Rosewood, as Albus just said, a member of Slytherin house and the new Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor" I tell Snape. His face drops slightly.

"Ah... Interesting" Snape remarks and looks almost past me at Albus.

"Severus-" Albus says in a stern tone and Snape retreats.

That's a bit strange... whatever.

"I just wondered if you have any spare ink... mine just ran out" Snape asks, he is still studying every inch of me with his eyes and his glare is oddly intimidating. It's almost like I can feel myself slightly blushing.

Oh, get a grip Y/N, please.

Albus hands Snape a pot of ink. "Teacher dinner tonight. Be there" he says towards Snape sternly.

I hear Snape sigh and nod.

The feeling was mutual. Public eating. Nightmare.

I look up and see Snape smirk slightly in my direction before nodding "See you later... Miss Rosewood"

I nod in his direction and he leaves.

"Apologies for Severus there. He's a pretty... original. Put it this way there's nobody on this earth quite like him. You judge on whether that is good or bad" Albus tells me and I smirk slightly.

"He seems okay. A bit unhappy with me taking over DADA position though" I note to Albus.

He doesn't speak for a moment. I can tell it is an ongoing thing they clearly don't enjoy discussing.

"Severus has wanted the Dark Arts position since he got here almost a decade ago. However, like my last comment, he is a complex person and... not to scare you off... but it is a cursed position. We have never had a Professor last longer than a year. Plus he is extremely good at his job" Albus tells me and I nod.

Reassuring.

"Duly noted" I tell him.

"Go wash up. Dinner will be soon when you will meet your other colleagues" Albus tells me and hands me the keys to my chamber and I accept them and smile before leaving.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Great Hall - 8 pm

I walked into the great hall and took my seat at the top table in the chair three seats to Dumbledore's left. I saw Professor McGonagall walk in and spot me instantly, coming over and kissing my cheek.

"Y/n Rosewood! Merlin... You were a troublemaking 18-year-old when I last saw you!" Minerva beamed.

I laugh "Darling Minerva"

"Oh, I am thrilled you have come to work at Hogwarts and in such an esteemed role!" Minerva says to me, just as Severus walks in and I clock him and his swishing robes almost storming down the great hall.

"Yes well... some more than others" I say, she follows my eyeline and laughs slightly.

"Ah, Severus. Yes well, he is a force to be reckoned with. He will chew you up and spit you out that one" Minerva tells me.

"He's definitely mysterious... Something rather curious about him" I say, still looking at him as he walks towards the table.

"Well, you're braver than some" Minerva says quietly before I hear a voice behind me that makes my hair stand up on end on the back of my neck.

"Miss... Rosewood" Severus says slowly. I see Minerva smirk at me cringing and I turn around.

"Behave, Severus" Minerva says.

I smile slightly at Severus and he takes his seat between me and Minerva. Hagrid sits to the left of me. Dinner goes rather quickly as we chat, eat and listen to Dumbledore brief us on the term ahead and the announcements he will tell the students tomorrow.

Me and Severus barely talk over dinner. I mainly chatted to Hagrid and Sybil who is the sweet but nerve-shaken Divination professor. I assume it can't bode well knowing what's going to happen to everyone else and they have no idea.

When dinner finished up, we filtered out of the great hall and I walked slowly back to the dungeons. I walked past cases of trophies, awards and photos from over the years before stopping at a particular photo and looking upon it. It consisted of a Slytherin quidditch team and then a photo of a young, gothic-looking girl and a young gothic-looking boy on brooms celebrating. They both had jet black hair and dark makeup on but looked happy. Below it was a label that read.

"Y/n Rosewood, Slytherin seeker, and Jacob Errolson, Slytherin beater. Quidditch cup final 1979"

We absolutely wiped the floor with Gryffindor and it is still one of my proudest Hogwarts moments. Jacob was amazing... Slytherin's best beater in fifty years without a doubt.

"He thought the world of you" Dumbledore said, coming up behind me and looking at the photos.

"Yeah... likewise" I say, my eyes fixated onto the photo.

"Goodnight, Y/n" Albus says, walking off.

"Goodnight, Albus" I say. I walk off and down the corridor along where the courtyard is and looked out upon the moonlight. I reach into my pocket.

I shouldn't.

I opened the pack of cigarettes and walked onto the quarry, lighting one before taking a drag on it and looking up at the moonlight. Alone with my thoughts.

Working here is going to be incredible but it is going to rip a few healing plasters off.

I sigh, dragging on my cigarette again and watching the smoke billow into the cold autumn air. I'm not alone with my thoughts long before I hear the slow and faint approach of footsteps behind me and the clearing of their throat.

"Miss Rosewood" I hear the voice say, I turn around suddenly.

Severus... of course it is.

"Professor Snape" I say back, dragging on my cigarette again and turning around to face out into the courtyard once more.

Severus walks up close behind me and also looks out onto the courtyard. I offer him a cigarette and he politely dismisses.

"You're a witch... there are so many things that could kill you and you chose them?" Severus comments.

I laugh and look towards him "Maybe I want them to" I whisper in a taunting tone.

"Wow... that was rather dark" He says.

"Rich coming from you" I tell him, knocking the ash off of the end with a tap and looking down, avoiding his gaze that is currently staring into my soul.

"Why are you out here alone then?" Severus questions, changing the subject.

I shrug. I actually don't know.

"Alone with my thoughts I guess? Took a trip way too far down memory lane with the photos in the corridor and just needed a moment" I tell him, he nods.

"The memories etched into every piece of this place can be haunting at times" He remarks.

It's sad how right he is.

I sigh and drag on my cigarette again and blow the smoke out. Severus looks unimpressed. He takes the cigarette out of my hand and throws it onto the courtyard before taking the packet out of my pocket and tossing them to the floor, taking his wand out.

"Evanesco" He points at the packet and it disappears without a trace.

He looks back up at me, his gaze seeping into every corner of my mind.

Is it weird how oddly drawn I am to this man?

The corner of his lips turn upward... almost into a smirk.

"Such a nasty habit for a young lady like yourself to be endorsing. Don't let me catch you smoking on school grounds again... and don't stay out here too long. It's almost freezing" Severus says, looking directly at me.

I nod. My mouth has gone dry and I feel rather hot.

"Goodnight... Miss Rosewood" Severus says before swooping away and marching back into the building, leaving me standing there speechless.


	2. The Welcoming Feast

The next few days went rather quickly and before we knew it, it was almost time for the welcoming feast. I was actually rather scared because I was going to be put on the spot in front of all of the students… but also rather excited. 

At 7:30pm, I fixed my specially picked out deep green suit that matched my house colour and fixed my hair which I loosely curled and dropped to my shoulders and headed down to the Great Hall. I walked in through the main doors and only teachers had gone in yet, so I walked up to the teachers table, my heels pounding against the floor as hard as my heart beated in my chest. 

Severus was already at the table, he turned to greet me and his face changed to a slightly shocked look when he saw me. His mouth fell slightly agape as if we were going to speak but the words wouldn’t fathom in his mouth. This amused me slightly. From the tiny amount I knew about this mysterious man, I’m going to assume he wasn’t left speechless much… he always seemed to have a quip or a line to say but right now? Nothing.

“Evening, Professor Snape” I smile slightly, running my tongue against my teeth cheekily and taking my seat.

“Professor Rosewood” He replied, quite taken aback and annoyed that I was being smug about it.

We watch as students filter in and talk amongst themselves, amongst the slowly heating Great Hall, an excited buzz for the year ahead. The Great Hall always had a welcoming atmosphere and someone was always hanging around for a talk. During the day, the sun seeped in and lit up the hall pleasantly while during the evening the many lights, candles and fires gave the most warming glow to it. It’s where memories are made and friends are met. And most importantly the food. At 8pm, McGonagall enters with the first years and the hall goes quiet as the little eleven year olds, bewildered by the school, come flocking in a little group like animals.

I smirk slightly, remembering how that felt.

The first years stopped just in front of the stairs and the sorting hat before Dumbledore took to his feet “Good Evening and Welcome back to a new year at Hogwarts! A few term announcements. The forest is Forbidden to all students. Quidditch tryouts are on Thursday. Also, we are delighted to announce that Proffesor Rosewood has taken up the position of Defence Against the Dark Arts professor and has joined us here at Hogwarts” he turns and faces me. 

The students clap and Snape nudges my thigh with his hand and I jump up… partly from shock because Professor Snape just touched my thigh and also because that’s what he ordered me to do. I smile for a moment before retaking my seat, receiving loud cheers from the Slytherin table in particular.

The sorting ceremony begins and we watch the students begin to be sorted into their houses. I watch as they all get sorted and watch as Harry Potter takes to the seat and Severus scoffs.

“Ah… the chosen one” Severus mutters to me under his breath, giving me a side eye and raising his eyebrow.

“Is that him? The boy who lived?” I ask him in a whisper.

Everyone knows the story of Harry Potter and the fact he is the only person to ever survive the killing curse from Voldemort. He is sort of legendary in the Wizarding World among the kids. 

“Yep… He looks just like his father. If he acts anything like him we’re all doomed” Severus tells me, shaking his head.

“You knew him?” I question, wondering why he has a vendetta against an eleven year old child he’s just met.

Severus nods “I went to school with his father and was friends with his mother, Lily, since we were children. His father was a swine and he knew it too. I hated him and he hated me” 

“Still horrible what happened to them though” I remark.

Severus goes rather quiet and looks at the table, nodding slightly “Yeah… It was” he comments quietly.

Is he okay? Why did he take that to heart?

I sit and think about his reaction for a moment, unaware of whether to ask. I decide not to and I brush this off as the sorting ceremony ends and we begin to eat. Dinner that night is more amazing than it was in previous nights and I drink way too much fire whiskey. I speak more to Severus and he tells me about students already studying here. Who is smart, crafty, bold, quiet and everything inbetween. He also warns me about the infamous Weasley twins and the amount of trouble they and their pranks get them in. I smirk as he tells me. I have a feeling I’m going to get on with them. 

We finish up dinner and Severus and I walk back to the dungeons which are chilly at this time and we stop outside of my chambers.

“First day of teaching tomorrow” He comments, looking directly into my eyes. I feel so intimidated around him

I nod “Extremely nervous” I chuckle.

“It will be fine. Good luck” Severus tells me. He seems rather confident in this as well.

“Thank you. I best head to bed.” I tell him.

“Of course… I have the night shift I just wanted to bring you down here because… well you drank a lot.” He remarks, looking my relaxed posture up and down.

I laugh slightly “Cheeky! Anyway, The night shift on the first day?”

“Every single year… You have to do at least one a month. I will speak to Albus and we can do the same night if you wish? I wouldn’t want you walking around this place alone at night” He speaks softly to me, a small essence of a smile appearing on his mouth.

How much has he had to drink?!

I nod and smile “Sounds good”.

There is a moment of silence. It goes on a bit too long before I have to break it.

“Goodnight… Professor Snape” I tell him, smiling.

“Goodnight… Professor Rosewood” He says back, swooping off down the corridor with his black robes blowing in the wind.

I watch him walk off before realising I’m in a trance and I go into my chamber, closing the door sighing.

He’s not as bad as people think.

I look around. My chambers are decorated exactly to my style. It is dark green, black, beige and white accents with a really academic theme. All my books, keepsakes from home, DADA gear and magical things have been brought to Hogwarts. There are bookshelves stacked high and posters on the wall. It smells like coffee, red wine, citrus and new books. I have stacked parchment and teaching books on my living room desk ready to go. Across the room are photos that move ever so slowly. Pictures of me and my sister, parents and Jacob. Just because I don’t contact them anymore, doesn't mean I don’t care for them deeply. There is a black couch and a coffee table facing my fire with a door to the kitchen leading off on the left. The entire chamber has this theme. It’s beautiful. 

I get ready for bed and climb in, staring at the ceiling and sighing. Getting myself into Severus Snapes, of all people, good books is a great start to term… Now I just have to teach the kids.


	3. New Discoveries

I wake up on the first day and go into my wardrobe, specially picking out a black suit with snake and vine patterns stitched into the cotton on the long blazer with matching pants. I put this on with a black shirt and a touch of makeup while matching this all with a pair of black heels. I pin part of my hair back so it flows loosely, some of the curls still present in my hair. I go into my kitchen and brew a coffee before finishing it quickly and fetching my parchment and study guides and rushing off to breakfast.

I walk into the Great Hall and pound up to the teacher’s table, sighing as I take my seat next to Severus who is reading with his coffee, slamming my things down. I sit in silence, my leg bouncing nervously and I pick at my breakfast. I thought I was feeling confident but it’s rather on the contrary. My stomach churns and cramps deep inside me as I feel jittery. I see Severus push his tongue to the inside of his cheek and side-eye my leg. 

“Please may I politely request that you stop doing that with your leg?” Severus asks me, rather moodily.

I feel my mood hit peak stress as my emotions burst like a small volcano. m

“Someone missed their morning coffee clearly” I spit rather quickly, not meaning to be mean but doing exactly that. 

He turns to fully face me and raises his eyebrow. Safe to say my heart jumps in my chest as I sigh and close my eyes, instantly regretting it. 

“And It seems to be that someone… got out of the wrong side of the bed” He quips back slowly but slickly.

I scoff and scowl at him for a moment before relaxing again.

“I’m sorry… I’m just nervous” I admit. I absolutely hate admitting any sign of weakness.

“I told you… You’re going to be fine” He mutters, turning back to his paper and sipping his coffee.

I sigh and pick at my breakfast again, trying my best to have something. I don’t end up eating much as my stomach continues to churn like the eye of a storm but I make it through two cups of coffee which is much more than I am used to. I hear the bell goes for first lessons and the students rush off as the teachers take their time. Dumbledore gives me a reassuring nod as I fumble with my papers and books and turn to go when someone grabs my arm quite forcefully and my whole body jumps as I tense up. I am so on edge. I turn and look at Severus.

“Make a good entrance and you will be fine. Trust… me” He tells me, pursing his lips and giving a slight nod. 

I nod back and exhale. Heading off to my first lesson and his words staying in my mind.

First lesson

First lesson. Third-years. I know they say that getting the worst done first always helps but I don’t think THIS is what they meant. I walk towards the door where I can hear the chatter of students as my heart beats so fast I think my chest will burst. I hear the chatter of students behind the door as I push it open and look around unnoticed thankfully. The room has been filled with my teaching things already.

Ah… the magic of magic.

I see the window at the back remains open and I flick my wand and stride towards the front past the students as the huge windows open up with a loud band and light seeps in, reducing the students to silence as students groan. I walk up and slam my parchment on the desk and spin round, a rather smug look on my face as I study the students for a moment.

“Good Morning! I’m Professor Rosewood, Your new defence against the dark arts professor. I know you wouldn’t normally have this lesson till fifth but for today only, you begin your morning with me” I boom, my voice coming out oddly confident. I see a few students scan me as most sit there stunned.

“Merlin’s beard… It’s a female Professor Snape” one of the students whisper under their breath.

I chuckle and look at them “No. I’m not quite as bad as Professor Snape, unless you get on my bad side”

The student retreats into their seat quickly and blushes crimson red as other students giggle.

“I don’t know what standard of teaching you were given in the first two years of this school, however, I will make sure that the next five years of your magical education will not be wasted on foolish magic. I am here to teach you how to protect yourselves and the Wizarding World from the most evil and complicated forms of magic which, unfortunately, still presents itself strongly within our world. You will face things that may frighten you and shock you but is vital knowledge. Starting today with boggarts. Does anyone here know what a boggart is?” I start.

I look around and all the students just stare rather shocked. Absolute silence. I look around for any hint of knowledge.

“Good to see you all spent summer well making memories and forgetting your studies. Reminds me of a younger me” I chuckle.

I clock the two boys I can only assume are the Weasley twins. George sits looking confident but hesitant as Fred watches him.

“George Weasley? Isn’t it?” I ask him, raising an eyebrow.

George chuckles and nods “Yes, professor” 

“You seem pretty confident but hesitant. Do you know what a boggart is?” I quiz him.

George takes a deep breath “Yes, Professor. A boggart is a shapeshifting thing that takes the form of whatever the witch or wizard is most scared of. It’s not exactly real… but it’s scary. A lot of people’s boggart is… he who-must-not-be-named” George swallowed thickly as the other students quiver slightly.

I nod “I’m impressed. And… I know it can be scary, thinking about such an evil wizard, but as long as you are in this castle and this school… There are many people here to protect you. Until you can protect yourself, that is our utmost priority… even Professor Snape” I say, trying to relieve the mood. It works slightly as I receive a few giggles. 

“Next lesson… We will work on the spell to help deflect and change your boggart. For now, turn to page 237 and read more into Boggarts. I would like a two sided parchment on Boggarts, their meaning and how to banish them safely. On my desk before the end of the lesson. I am here for any help” I request, receiving a drawl of groans as students open their books and prepare their quills. I smirk and slowly move around the classroom. “If these are not finished, you will NOT be permitted to complete tomorrow’s practical session”

I see the twins muttering to each other as I walk past and can almost predict the next event.

“Professor Rosewood!” Fred calls in a hushed whisper. I turn around and walk over to their desk.

“Yes?” I ask, crossing my arms.

“You seem like a pretty reasonable witch” George quips, smirking. 

I smirk back annoyingly “I suppose…”

“How about the dinner time deadline?” Fred asks, the two of them smirking now.

I lean forward and press my weight against their desks on my hands. “No… end of the lesson please, boys. I may be reasonable but I am not stupid” 

The boys sigh defeatedly and begin working. The two of them are extremely street smart and annoyingly charming. I strut back off to my desk and sit down, beginning to flick through one of my books. 

Staff room

After all the lessons of the day, we have free time between three and six before dinner starts and I decided to go to the staff room. The staff room at Hogwarts is rarely even spoken about, never mind used, but during this free period is when you can find it most full. It is like a blend of all the houses into one so it is very mismatched and outgoing. The furniture remains a burnt brown colour with a huge table with several seats with other seats and small two seater couches scattered round in the same colour with some armchairs. There is a coffee table near a roaring fire towards the back. The floor is wooden with rugs placed on it. There are huge golden chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and pictures on the wall of old staff members. 

There is distinct chatter as I enter, clutching students' work and books, as I kick the door closed behind me and head over to the coffee table in front of the fire and place my things down, sitting down and sighing. I clutch the bridge of my nose and squeeze my eyes shut. I hear the folding of a paper and barely have time to think before a voice spooks me.

“Successful first day?” Severus questions in his usual monotone voice, throwing his paper onto the coffee table with ease.

I gasp loudly “Merlin's beard, Professor! A word of warning would have been nice” 

Severus raises an eyebrow at me, suggesting that his booming voice echoing into my head wasn’t a shocking thing when I have a rising, pounding headache. I exhale and rub my forehead.

“It actually was. A lot of work to mark now though” I tell him, pointing at the pile of work.

“Tiring?” Severus adds, a hint of a sarcastic smirk creeping ever so slightly across that smug face of his.

I push my tongue against my top teeth and nod slowly, trying not to smirk myself “Very. You weren't wrong about the twins. Charming little sods” 

Severus scoffs at this “Too charming for their own good”

“The first years are loud… very very loud” I complain slightly.

“Indeed. I began the day teaching them and the ever infamous Harry Potter” Severus tells me.

I had them in the second period meaning they came straight from potions and this man himself. This means that all the energy they let pool out in my lesson was pent up from the first lesson, absolutely terrified to dare even breathe too heavily in Severus’ lesson. It genuinely leaves me wondering if anyone has failed potions since 1981. I raise both eyebrows and scoff slightly. 

“Oh! So you sent them to me like that!” I exclaim in an attempt to slightly wind up Severus.

His mouth falls slightly agape “On the contrary! If students feel they can misbehave in your lesson and get away with it that says more about your teaching than mine”

Damn this man and his quick responses and attempts to shoot people down, rarely missing.

I gasp heavily “You cheeky good for nothing b-“

“Miss Rosewood!” Dumbledore cuts me off, mine and Severus’ gaze looking up towards the elder wizard.

“Albus!” I exclaim, heat pooling in my cheeks as I fall in on myself slightly.

“Just a rather quick question… are you okay to chaperone Hogsmeade this weekend?” Albus questions.

I nod quickly “Of course! My pleasure” feigning a smile slightly. 

“Marvellous. You won’t be alone doing this don’t worry” Albus starts, I shoot a look out of the corner of my eye at the potions master.

“Here it comes” Severus mutters under his breath.

“Severus!” Albus exclaims.

“There it is” Severus finishes, still muttering and rolling his eyes “I suppose… Headmaster”

“Thank you dearly Severus. Students mainly keep to themselves but try your best to keep the fair few reckless ones in order” Albus informs us.

I nod. I was rather excited for this but it soon dawned on me I would have to spend the day trying to make and upkeep conversation with this here dungeon bat which I haven’t struggled with thus far but haven’t really spent more than twenty minutes conversing with him… never mind six hours. 

Is it too late to back out?

Hogsmeade - Saturday 7th September 1991 

Hogsmeade came round so quickly I did not even have time to worry about it too much. Before I knew it it was Saturday morning and I was standing in front of the mirror in my chambers wrapping up for the Autumn chill. I matched a pair of flared trousers with a black trench coat and a burgundy scarf, gloves and hat set. I gripped onto my morning coffee as I grabbed my keys, money and walked out of my chambers. 

I walked outside and saw Severus standing around with a small collection of students as he stood with his arms crossed, tapping his foot and glaring at me slightly. I can’t help but smile and I cannot imagine how much this probably wound him up.

“Glad you could finally join us” Severus sarcastically remarked and looked at me up and down.

“Oh do relax… Not all of the students are here yet and-“ I pause mid sentence and look at him up and down like he did to me before and I raised an eyebrow “Are you not cold?” I question Severus as he is dressed in his usual robe attire.

“Nope” Severus replied quickly. I shrug and we finally receive our last group of students and begin the walk to Hogsmeade.

“Oh no… It’s Rosewood and Snape. Two sides of the same coin” One of the third year Gryffindor’s quips behind me and Severus. I pick up on it and note Severus does too.

“You what?” One of their friends asks.

“She’s new and he is giving her teaching advice so it's like being taught by a female Snape” The original third year complains. 

I laugh on my coffee and almost spill it as I watch Severus turn on his heels and the third years stop, looking terrified. I watch as he analyses them with his gaze and raises an eyebrow at them. 

“Ah Mr Devonson… So glad for you to express your so wanted opinion on myself and Professor Rosewood” Severus scolds slowly “However, on the contrary, I will always remain a lot more stricter than Rosewood… Ten point from Gryffindor” Severus turns back around and we continue walking as we hear the groans and complaints. I can’t help but smile. It was rather sweet how he defended the both of us.

We arrive at Hogsmeade around 10:30 as students rush off while Severus shouts orders at them and is already shouting at two fifth years. I look around. Hogsmeade has never changed and I don’t think it ever will. It has a homely feel to it and I can almost feel the same excitement bubble in the pit of my stomach I felt on the first trip I took her back in my third year. 

“Professor Rosewood” Severus breaks me out of thought, I turn and look at him.

“I have a dreadful feeling that I need to monitor these fifth years for a while” He rolls his eyes “Please… Do complete your shopping without me and we will meet up shortly” he tells me before dashing off.

Amazing. I’ve been abandoned. I knew that dragging Severus around the shops would have been a rather tiresome journey as he would have complained all the way and told me I was buying the wrong things by his standard, but at the same time it would have been useful to actually get to know him better and now that opportunity was gone. 

I wandered into the village properly and admired the shops before visiting Honeydukes, Scrivenshafts and Tomes and Scrolls as I bought myself an array of sweets, new quills and ink along with some potions books to refine my knowledge in some sort of way to impress Severus as it was always my worse lesson. I hid this in the bottom of my bag below some astrology posters and mini patronus study guides for the fifth year students. I walked in the direction of The Three Broomsticks as I felt a gust of air next to me as the potions professor met up with my strides, peering into my bags.

“Wasting your money?” Severus asks.

I roll my eyes “Nope… all the essentials”.

“I beg to differ” Severus remarks “You don’t even teach astrology” he points out, spotting my posters.

“Nothing wrong with showing an interest!” I remind him.

He shakes his head and I giggle slightly. I look around and spot a bench not too far from the front of The Three Broomsticks. Severus becomes distracted by something in the potions store and doesn’t see me trail off. I stop in front of the bench.

Jacob R Errolson . 1961 - 1980. Simply the best.

My stomach lurched at the sight of this memorial as my heart pounds in my chest and my vision falls slightly blurry. I stumble slightly as I try to catch my breath in my throat but I feel like someone is squeezing every inch of life left within me till there is nothing left. I let out a small involuntary gasp which folds into a sob without me even meaning too as my eyes close and I practically lose control of my body. I fall to my knees and my hands tremble as I grasp the front of the bench and let out small stifled sobs. 

I physically cannot stop my body convulsions and I remain stuck in a trance until I hear faint repetitive speaking behind me before I am dragged off of the floor and placed back onto my feet while the person shakes me slightly in any attempt of gauging a response.

“Rosewood! Come on” Severus soothes me, rubbing my arm slightly as he grasps my upper body as the tears continue to flow down my ice cold cheeks. He guides me into the Three Broomsticks and sits me down at a table, going to get us something strong to drink. 

I sit at the table staring into thin air. I had never ever been made aware that the bench existed and it also led me to believe Hogwarts had been fed a false lie surrounding Jacob’s death which stung slightly. I didn’t have time to think before a glass of fire whiskey was placed on the table in front of me and Severus took a seat opposite to mine. We remained in silence for a moment as I closed my eyes and exhaled.

“Are you okay?” Severus finally asks, he sounds genuinely concerned.

I nod, sipping my drink and releasing the tension in my neck slightly through stretching “I apologise. I haven’t had an episode over Jacob like that for a while” I inform Severus in some awful attempt to excuse it.

Severus looks at me confused.

“They are kind of similar to my panic attacks but not really” I stumble over my words slightly “I began having panic attacks when I was a teenager but they worsened and those isolated attacks began when Jacob was killed in 1980. We were dating at the time and I watched it” I attempt to explain.

I watch Severus swallow thickly and shift his weight in his seat “How was he killed?” 

I panic slightly as I do every time someone asks me this “He was killed in a hit and run in London by muggles. I miss him so much” I tell Severus.

Please believe me.

He nods slowly understandably. He is trying his best which I appreciate because it's more than others do. 

“I’m sorry you went through that. Losing loved ones is awful” He says sympathetically, giving no context. I nod and smile slightly. There is a moment of silence between us as I get lost in my thoughts slightly.

“Drink up… you will feel better” Severus advises, pushing the glass closer to me. I do as he says and drink the rest of my drink, gasping slightly as I finish it and let out a breath I wasn't aware I was holding in. Severus looks at me genuinely concerned. I study his face for a moment and I feel like I am beginning to see a softer side of him which is nice. However, there is still so much mystery to him… which frustrated me the most. He is a good person deep down and his heart is in the right place, he just seems to have some sort of barrier when you first meet. Whatever this barrier is, I haven't quite learnt yet… but I am more than determined to find out.


End file.
